Suggestion:

When filling out a form that asks who is to be called in case of an emergency I think you should write, “An ambulance.”

A Few Observations:

The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Did you ever notice that when you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs”?

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

And A Wish:

May you always have love to share, cash to spare, tires with air, and friends who care